Give your teen the confidence to reject negative peer pressure
Teens with low self-esteem are vulnerable to peer pressure. They may do things just to feel liked. To encourage a more positive self-image, offer praise when your teen does things well, and never compare your student to other people. Then promote independent thinking. If your teen is making a choice, you might ask questions like, "What would you decide if there were a secret ballot and no one would ever see your vote?"
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Daydreaming can be productive thinking
Is your teen's head often in the clouds? That's normal, and it's not necessarily bad. As kids enter adolescence, they spend more time fantasizing. Imagining different situations and how they might handle them can make it easier for teens to face new challenges. So allow a little time in your teen's life for daydreaming. It's not wasted time.
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If your teen won't try, call in reinforcements
Sometimes teens think that if they never try anything, they can't mess up. So they say "no" to everything. If this sounds like your teen, consider enlisting another trusted adult to ask your teen to participate. It's often more difficult for teens to refuse an adult who's not their parent. The key is for your teen to see that a respected person has confidence in your teen's abilities.
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Reinforce the need to be in every class, on time, every day
The older some kids get, the harder it is to get them to attend all their classes...and the more critical attendance becomes. When students skip classes, they fall behind. They can lose motivation because they don't understand the material. Talk to your teen about why attendance matters, and never allow absences just to do something fun. Instead, reward consistent attendance with a bonus, such as a special weekend activity with you.
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Turn screen time into thinking time
Screen time doesn't have to turn your teen into a couch potato. You can use it to develop your student's critical thinking skills. Watch the TV news together. Have your teen choose an item of interest and then find an article on the same subject in the newspaper. After you both read the article, discuss ways the coverage in the two formats differs and is similar.
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Teach your teen techniques for controlling anger
Uncontrolled anger gets many teens into trouble at school. Everyone gets angry sometimes, but it's important to manage these feelings. Counting to 10 is a classic technique that gives your teen a chance to think and get control over emotions. Teens can also try covering their mouths with both hands to contain a flow of angry words. Even saying, "I'm angry" may keep your teen from saying something worse.
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Your teen needs sleep, but not during study time
Teens don't always get enough sleep. So when they sit down to do schoolwork, many nod off. Small changes in routine can boost your teen's ability to concentrate. Help your student plan a schedule that allows for eight hours of sleep at night. It should include regular exercise, which provides energy and improves sleep. Encourage your teen to keep study snacks light; eating too much brings on drowsiness. For a refresher, your teen can take a five-minute break to move around.
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Your teen needs sleep, but not during study time
Teens don't always get enough sleep. So when they sit down to do schoolwork, many nod off. Small changes in routine can boost your teen's ability to concentrate. Help your student plan a schedule that allows for eight hours of sleep at night. It should include regular exercise, which provides energy and improves sleep. Encourage your teen to keep study snacks light; eating too much brings on drowsiness. For a refresher, your teen can take a five-minute break to move around.
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There's work to be done before your teen starts writing a paper
Students turn out better research papers when they follow this pre-writing process. First, your teen should do some general reading on the topic. Next, your teen should choose a narrower, specific topic that can be covered in the number of pages allowed. Then it's time to develop a thesis statement that sums up the main point your teen wants to make. After that comes more research and note-taking. The last pre-writing step is to create an outline that organizes the points your teen will make to support the thesis.
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Trade punishment for discipline that teaches
When your teen has broken your rules, your first response may be to say, "You're grounded!" But take a deep breath and think before acting. If your goal is to teach self-discipline and consideration of others, you might have your teen perform a "family community service," like washing the car or babysitting siblings, instead. Unlike punishment, this type of discipline encourages responsibility and maturity.
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Help your teen get organized for test success
To succeed on tests, teens need planning, organization and time management skills. Encourage your teen to schedule regular time to complete assignments and review notes, in order to stay up-to-date with learning. Filing the quizzes, notes and worksheets for each class in the binder for that class will keep them handy when it's time to study. Then, in the week before a test, your student should schedule study time each day.
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Encourage achievement three proven ways
Research shows that three of the best things you can do to support your teen's education can be done right at home. First, make it clear that you expect your teen to work hard and be successful in school. Second, encourage your student to apply school subjects (such as math) to everyday life. And third, help your teen plan for the future and investigate the education needed to prepare for careers of interest.
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Help your teen find a place to concentrate on studying
If your teen has trouble settling down to study, having a dedicated study area can help. Sitting down in this spot sends the signal that it's time to get serious. It could be in the bedroom or the kitchen, at a desk or on the floor. Encourage your student to keep these guidelines in mind when choosing an effective location: A study area should be well lit, quiet, comfortable, neat and organized, and well supplied.
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Ask for your teen's opinions about current events
Teens are usually busy with their own current events: who made the team, who said what to whom. But to become informed and responsible adults, they need to know about current events in the world at large. To promote awareness, ask for your teen's opinions on a topic: "What do you think about this candidate's ideas on education?" If the response is "I don't know," give your teen an article about it. You might say, "Since you are in school, I'd like to know your thoughts."
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Share tips for faster, more effective note-taking
Some basic tips help students take more effective class notes. Encourage your teen to make up and use abbreviations for frequently-used words in each class, and to make a dictionary of them. Drawing pictures or diagrams may also be faster and clearer than writing words. Remind your teen to leave lots of space in the margins. Then, when reviewing notes after class, there will be room to summarize key ideas and write questions.
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How to overrule objections and maintain your teen's respect
Adolescents often object to parental control. But in order to protect your teen and instill respect for you, the teachers and other adults, you must overrule some of your teen's objections. To do this effectively, listen to your student's points carefully before responding. When you do, relax your posture and lower your voice. Ask questions to find out what lies behind the objections. Then establish terms you can agree on.
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Issue a screen-time challenge
Research says that teens spend an average of seven hours per day staring for fun at a digital device of some sort. That's on top of time spent with screens for school. Encourage your teen to keep a personal log of recreational screen time each day for a week. Then challenge your student to reduce the time the following week. Suggest alternatives, like reading or exercising. Your teen may be surprised at what can be accomplished in the extra screen-free time!
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Keep the part-time job experience positive by limiting hours
Part-time jobs offer teens benefits from career and time management skills to income. But working more than 10-15 hours per week can have negative effects on their school success. Teens who work more have less time for schoolwork. They often earn lower grades, or have to take less-challenging courses. Their attendance is also more likely to suffer. Remind your teen that school is a student's most important job.
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Poor grades? Try an alternative to grounding
Many parents respond to poor grades by taking away extracurricular activities like school sports and clubs. But school counselors warn that when students are "grounded" in this way, many who once loved school stop liking it. And they may fill their time with much riskier activities. Evaluate your teen's schedule to make sure it's balanced. Then try an alternative to grounding, such as requiring your teen to put in an hour of study for every hour spent on extracurricular activities.
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Address conflicts with your teen without a fight
From time to time, parents need to discuss sensitive topics with their teens. To keep a conversation with your teen from becoming an argument, choose only one issue to discuss. State it clearly to avoid misunderstanding, and be sure to attack the problem, not your teen. Then listen to what your teen says and doesn't say. Together, develop a plan of action. Afterward, praise progress and reevaluate the plan as needed.
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